It was a sunny Sunday morning. I had a day off. I had anticipated an interesting and relaxing day. First, I had to do some chores. Then I could do whatever I liked. I did an exercise routine and had a nice shower. While I was choosing what to wear, the phone rang. It was a friend, and she seemed sad or upset, maybe even tearful. “Let’s get together and have a little chat over coffee at our favorite place,” I said. She agreed eagerly.
We met at a cozy cafe with a beautiful water view. Coffee was delicious. I was happy to see my friend, but her company was a little dull; she was in a state of confusion. I felt that she needed me, and I wanted to bring her out of her sadness, back to balance. My intention was to have a calm and pleasant talk, and to offer warm words of encouragement to create a joyful atmosphere of comfort, and have quality time together.
She told me that she had woken up with no energy or desire to meet a new day. She was emotionally drained and exhausted, and couldn’t even function, overwhelmed with loneliness, despair, and fear. Her depression was obvious. As I learned later, she was unsatisfied in her job.
She said that it is very important to feel good about what we do. She believed there must be a better alternative, but found herself stuck in an unfulfilling job that she felt she couldn’t quit yet. She wanted to find a good job with some flexibility that enhances her quality of life. Even though she has made a big effort to make her life better, she doesn’t see any improvement. She has tried many times to change her job and financial situation, but something always blocks her. She has run after achievements, but gotten nothing. It is exhausting. She doesn’t want to say that she hasn’t achieved anything; some of her efforts were successful. She understands that some people have greater things to accomplish, and others have smaller things to accomplish. She tries to be cheerful and tell herself not to worry, her abundance is on its way. She tells herself to find a way to like her job, that each job has its own perks, and embrace her current situation, but it is not really helping.
I can relate to that, and I’m sure many other people can too. We all face similar situations. I have thought about it a lot. Some things cannot be changed; they are what they are. I have pondered the wise suggestion that if you can change your situation, do so, but if you can’t, accept things as they are, and learn to trust them, even if you don’t understand the reason behind that. I tell myself, don’t think too much about it. It isn’t helping.
Also, accomplishments are good, but we need to be flexible about them. When we try desperately to achieve our goals because we want them so badly, and want them to happen quickly, it creates great tension, and actually blocks our route to great achievements. Give more energy to what we want to become, and keep improving, learning, and growing. Sooner or later, our achievements will add up and satisfy our desire for accomplishments. Once we finish something, we usually look for another challenge anyway. I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter whether I accomplish great things. The only thing that matters is what kind of person I become in the process of any challenging life situation—whether I let myself enjoy myself and feel good about that situation, learn from it, and rectify mistakes. In any circumstance, we can always choose—to whine and be bitter and sad, or to be sweet and pleasant no matter what our situation is. The choice is ours. Pick a side. I choose to be the best person I can be.
There will always be negative voices in our heads that want to sabotage us. Ignore them, and learn instead to pay close attention to the positive. Negativity is poison; don’t let it into your mind. Negative energy destroys. Fill your mind with positivity. Positive energy rekindles; it feels good. We all have beautiful, positive, and happy thoughts and intentions. Don’t hide them. Bring them to the surface. Fortunately, we have the power to transform any challenging situation into something more beneficial and positive. Let’s do it. Let’s start having a much better quality of life.
Our coffee time turned into a healthy and delicious brunch. I suggested moving on and finding a way to see the positive, and start thinking, speaking, and acting according to it. Let’s not waste such a wonderful day. Let’s turn negative vibes around and see what happens. She was delighted to hear that, and willing to do it too. It is so much easier to have a positive attitude and change a mood when a friend supports it. I loved our positive twist.
We agreed on five topics for a rational conversation: health, energy, happiness, abundance, and gratitude. What makes us happy? What can we do to improve our skills and talents? What makes a good life anyway? We can become more familiar with ourselves, and pay attention to what we want.
We talked about our interests and hobbies, our best choices, our best strategies, activities we would like to do, skills we would like to learn, education we would like to pursue. What kind of people do we want to be? Confident, magnetic, and charismatic? What do we dream about? How do we unwind?
All that put us in a positive spirit. We were laughing and enjoying each other’s company. We felt relief.
We started to create a plan of action toward new accomplishment. We established new rules toward creating our best lives, and discussed how to integrate them into our everyday routines. We planned to be kind and gentle with ourselves without rushing an outcome. We talked about steps toward achieving our goals, and how to enjoy each step.
Once we find something we like, we will stick with it. It becomes our ally; sooner or later, we’ll see the fruits of our labor. But remember, results don’t occur overnight; quick fixes don’t exist. We can fix our situation just by gaining clarity from a new and healthy perspective. The moment we let go and pay attention to something else, the situation somehow resolves itself. The best thing is to try to feel good and enjoy the process.
Later that day, I was surprised by how quickly my friend’s mood became better. In spite of how she felt, we were able to use our words and intentions to change the perception of a situation just by talking about how we wanted it to be, and what actions we could take. I will always remember our lovely brunch together. We were able to step away from the unpleasant and into the pleasant just by switching our attention to the right direction. My friend and I went home happy, joyful, and positive.
About Author
